feeling hot hot hot!

Well, I think we can officially say that summer has begun! The weather has been heating up, my hay fever is kicking in and work has become truly hellish as the windows create a greenhouse effect that causes me to be pretty much soaked in sweat from about 10 minutes in to my shift.

Yesterday I had a hellish day in the inferno, followed by a night out for my friend's homecoming party (and I still have the fake blood on my legs!). I had a few drinks, but nothing major and I was home not long after midnight...so why oh why did I wake up today feeling like utter crap?!? Andy didn't fare much better, but neither of us could really pinpoint the source: we'd drunk, but not excessively and had lots of water too. Only difference was though that Andy didn't have to go to derby training at 4!

I was feeling rough right from the off: I managed to forget the first aid kit (again, jeez, what the hell is wrong with me?!?!) and as I laced my skates up I felt woozy and a bit sick. I warned BB that I wasn't feeling 100% so if I ended up sitting out not to be surprised! I got though the first hour ok...we did a whipping paceline which was fun, followed by an endurance drill that pretty much shredded my shins. So far so good. After a quick water break, we were back on the track for passive blocking drills (black vs white/coloured tops). At first I was ok, but after about 5 minutes I started to feel weird...like all the blood was draining out of my face. The room started to go a bit spinney so I took a knee and sat with my head between my legs trying not to pass out. Fettish thought maybe I was having a bit of a blood sugar dip so she got me a mars bar (thank you by the way!) and after that (and drinking loads of water) I felt a bit more human, but still shaky so I decided to sit out the rest of the second hour with Reeshi, who had bashed her head during the past drill. Watching the rest of our fellow Brawlers train was awesome, although pretty terrifying at times! BB was calling us for the many, many penalties being committed (there was tripping, grabbing, flailing, swimming to name a few) and for the last drill she created a mock up 'sin bin' that the girls had to sit in when called from the track - the time you serve for your penalty starts the second you hit the seat, so it's important to get to the sin bin as fast as you can, and you ALWAYS have to skate the outside of the track to get there. I have a funny feeling over the coming weeks I'm going to spending a fair bit of time in the bin until I can learn to control by bad habits...MUST.STOP.FLAILING!

So, just like last week I need more practice on my laterals, and generally build up my confidence a bit more. I've noticed recently that I feel miles behind so many of the other girls in my team. There are times during training I just want to cry, I get so frustrated with myself for not being to so something or for not doing it as well as the others. I know that practice makes perfect, and that I just need to keep plugging at it, but part of me worries that maybe this is it: this is as good as I can or will ever get. I've got some of the basics down, but there are so many things left to master...I look through the WFTDA minimum skills and feel like I'm very, very far away from passing it. Or even thinking about passing it.

Blah. I'm tired, over-heated and stressed out. A nice long bath and some sleep with give me perspective, and hopefully drag me away from the pity party I seem to have become stuck at.